That Breakup Broke Me. Then God Spoke.
After betrayal I stopped trusting women entirely—until God used the wreckage to rebuild my faith and discernment.
During a breakup in 2019, I was told no girl would ever love me—that my girlfriend never had, and that everyone I meet would cheat on me.
Those words stung. For a year and a half I didn’t trust women at all. I was bitter, guarded, and assumed every future relationship would hurt me.
I still wanted connection—but the baggage I carried sabotaged opportunities God may have been putting in front of me. And this wasn’t the first time I’d been cheated on, so the voice in my head got louder: Maybe it’s me.
Accountability and spiritual warfare
This channel doesn’t blame women for everything. Men must be accountable. I contributed to the problem.
But 1 John 4:1 also warns us not to believe every spirit we meet. I lacked the discernment I have now—and God allowed a brutal season to build it.
At the end of that relationship, she revealed she never truly believed in God, despite what I thought at the start. She attacked my faith. It reminded me of Job—when he lost everything, even his wife wanted him to curse God.
Part of my fault was ignoring the Holy Spirit early on. He was revealing her heart a month or two in, but I was enamored by love-bombing and ego strokes. Proverbs warns that an adulterous woman’s lips drip like honey. This was a spiritual trap.
Bitter or better—the choice
Ephesians 6:12: our battle is not against flesh and blood. The outcome can shape your destiny depending on whether you become bitter or better.
Despite confusion and anger, something good happened: God got my attention. Better to bring him every grievance than go my own way.
Prayer isn’t a performance. God wants your whole heart—messy, angry, confused. Look at Daniel: anointed by God, yet in a season where answers felt delayed. Abraham waited. Joseph waited in the well. Paul waited in chains.
Silence doesn’t mean God didn’t hear. He’s working in the background even when nothing looks different in the moment.
When you bond to the wrong person
If you don’t pursue the Holy Spirit, you can get spiritually bonded to someone God never wanted you with. Then God’s word competes with that bond in your head—and we cannot serve two masters.
With the Spirit’s help I finally saw she wasn’t for me—but a year and a half too late. The breakup was brutal. Some of you are in that wilderness now, unsure of God’s will for marriage.
When I finally walked away, the mask came off completely. That was torment—but also a test. One day I was playing worship music and she wanted it off. I could appease her for short-term peace—or praise louder for long-term faithfulness. I chose worship. In that moment, something shifted. Jesus wins.
God is with you in the silence
That didn’t mean we were meant to reunite. It meant God is with us even when it feels like no one else is.
If you’re in a wilderness season—unclear direction, fresh breakup, marriage feels impossible—I’ve been there. My faith grew through the wreckage, not around it.
Don’t ignore conviction early. Test spirits before you bond. Bring God your anger before you bring him a checklist for your next date.
He heard you then. He hears you now. God bless.