I Gave Up on Marriage. God Gave Me Hope.
Years of cheating, lying, and loneliness had me sure God’s plan was lifelong singleness—until I chased the Holy Spirit instead of the next girl.
I thought God was mad at me. Maybe marriage wasn’t his will—because relationships clearly weren’t working.
Years of awful breakups. Cheating. Lies. Much of it was my fault—I wasn’t living in God’s word or listening to conviction.
Despite my past, there is hope in Jesus. A guy like me got married. I’m going on two years now—and many of you have commented that marriage in 2026 sounds impossible. Some have waited decades. I hear you.
Chasing women instead of the Spirit
For years I chased relationships instead of the Holy Spirit. As men, we’re visual. Marriage is a godly desire. But where we spend time and hope makes the difference between heartbreak and healing.
Daily I asked: How do I meet a woman? How do I prove I made it to my peers? The enemy loved that.
I met Jezebel spirits—even women who claimed Christianity—then got cheated on, lied to, ghosted. Repeat that enough and you conclude singleness must be God’s permanent will. That’s a false narrative written from pain, not Scripture.
Job’s wife and your false conclusions
Remember Job: his wife wanted him to curse God in the torment. He stayed faithful—and God rewarded him beyond what he lost.
Sorrow may last for a night; joy comes in the morning. I’m living proof. Meeting my wife wasn’t easy—ten to fifteen years of bad experiences. Some of you have waited longer.
The difference maker: I admitted what I was doing didn’t work. I chased the Holy Spirit’s will—not the next cute girl showing interest for an ego boost.
Active waiting and prayer before the first date
Maybe you’re called to singleness like Paul—but don’t assume that because you’re tired. Only God knows.
I had trauma to heal. Wrong focus. Wrong hope. I told the Lord: what I’m doing isn’t working.
For the first time, before a first date, I prayed. When someone talked to me, I prayed. Active preparation: career, health, faith—without jumping at every opportunity.
Spending time with the wrong person robs the opportunity to meet your spouse. That was a painful lesson I had to share.
Purpose in the pain
The single walk wasn’t pointless. God prepares husbands before the vow—slow to anger, Christlike love, aligned values.
2026 is full of distractions. If you’re not living in God’s will for who you should be with, bad experiences will keep confirming your fears.
God is your advocate. Defender. Joy is coming for those who stay faithful.
Don’t write off marriage because the road was brutal. Write a new chapter with him leading. God bless.