I Stopped Looking for Love. Now I’m Married.
I chose who to date, then asked God to fix it. When I reversed that order and stopped searching, he sent my wife two weeks later.
I gave up looking for love the way the world tells you to look—and that’s when God sent my wife.
Many of you commented on my last videos saying marriage feels out of reach. You’re frustrated. You’ve been betrayed. You wonder where God was in all of it. I felt that in my soul for years. Breakup after breakup. Heartache after heartache. I get it.
This is my story of what changed when I stopped dating my way and started seeking God’s way.
Loving hard for the wrong reasons
I love hard. I always have. I put intentions out there, sometimes too strong, with an open heart that wanted real connection. Maybe you relate—especially as believers, when empathy and compassion are gifts from the Spirit.
But for years I was trying to fill a void. Growing up I was the book nerd—chess, studies, software engineering (still my day job). Dating came later, and when it did, my motives were mixed. I wanted to fit in. Look successful. Prove I was enough.
Society—and even church culture—can put timelines on us: married by twenty-five, kids by thirty, picket fence by thirty-five. I was doing what I thought you’re supposed to do, not what God was calling me to do.
When good desires become idols
Finding a godly spouse isn’t sin. We’re told to be fruitful and multiply. Marriage is a gift. But the enemy loves to send the wrong person to distract you from God.
I prioritized relationships over everything—including the Lord—without always realizing it. God sometimes allowed connections so I would learn when they fizzled. I’d fall flat again: “Why me? Why another betrayal?”
The pattern was backwards: I picked who to date, got deep, then asked God to intercede when fights and doubts showed up. Scripture says seek first the kingdom; then desires are added. I had to learn that the hard way.
Stop looking. Start listening.
At my wit’s end I finally said, “Lord, what I’m doing isn’t working. You win.” God wasn’t telling me to hate women or quit community. He was telling me to stop filling the void myself and draw near to him.
Even this YouTube channel is part of that story. I tried personal development, dating advice, fitness content. God kept nudging me toward ministry. I pivoted to teaching math—then that season ended too. Forged Faith is where he wanted my testimony shared.
Your calling may look different. But lean into where Jesus is leading you now—not only where you wish you were.
Prayer before the date
When I stopped hunting for a girlfriend and started taking walks with God, everything shifted. Women still came into my life—but for the first time I didn’t jump straight to “Let’s go on a date.” I asked, “Lord, is she from you?”
That’s when testing got real. The enemy throws more distractions when you start obeying—sweet words, fast chemistry, people who feel right but aren’t sent by God. Proverbs warns against leaning on your own understanding. Honey lips can deceive.
I changed my prayer: not “she’s Christian, that’s enough,” but “I only want who you send.” I can’t promise two weeks for you—I’m not God. For me, after a decade of struggle, my wife and I started dating two weeks after that surrender.
Let God steer
We complicate dating. God says let go. His yoke is easy—not because life is always easy, but because control belongs to him.
Think of driving: taking your hands off the wheel sounds terrifying. But faith isn’t reckless—it’s trusting the one who sees the road.
Abraham waited longer than any of us for a child. Jeremiah 29:11 still stands. His thoughts are not our thoughts. God’s timing differs for every person. Some of you have waited longer than I did. That doesn’t mean he forgot you.
There’s also work to do—carry your cross daily, grow where he planted you, don’t sit idle expecting magic. But stop making an idol of the search.
A prayer you can pray today
If you’re struggling, be honest with God. I told him: “This isn’t working. I’m frustrated. Based on everything I’ve tried, the only solution is you.”
If you feel like there’s no hope of meeting someone, I totally understand. Don’t give up on God. Trust him with the timeline—and with who you say yes to.
Hope isn’t in my story. Hope is in Jesus. I’m just a guy who messed up relationships for a long time until I let him lead. He can lead you too. God bless.